Seeing Some Sunshine Through the Rain...

Once we got home from the hospital we weren't sure how we wanted to honor Harper. We did some research and decided we wanted to adopt a bench at the Denver Zoo. The zoo and animal conservation has always been important to us and would have been a big part of Harper's life like it is now for our family so this decision just made sense to us. This way if any of our family and friends want to visit the bench they can...we go to the zoo so often we thought it would be a great way for Jaimison and any other kids we have in the future to remember their sister too. We get to pick out the sight of the bench and then have something nice engraved on a plaque as well. I have been posting on a message board with some wonderfully supportive ladies that have gone through similar situations as us and I found a stanza of a beautiful poem posted by one of these ladies.....we know we want the plaque to have Harper's name on it and then maybe this stanza...

" I felt your touch in the sun today

as its warmth filled the sky;

I closed my eyes for your embrace

and my spirit soared high"

I think this is beautiful and so fitting to how Terry and I feel.

I have so many things I want to do to memorialize Harper and pay tribute to her perfect little soul....we will be getting this bench, I want to get a tattoo, we want to start raising money for the March of Dimes and do the March of Dimes walk in Denver on April 28th, I want to start training for a half marathon....all these things sound like great ideas and ways to help me show Harper how much we love her, but none of these things will bring Harper home. That's really all I want. I just want to hold Harper in my arms. I just want Harper home with our family. That's when the heart break really settles down deep in my heart. When I remember that Harper will never be home with our family and I will never hold her perfect little body in my arms. I will never hold hands with her and I will never get to kiss her good night. These are the things that really stop me cold. That really truly break my heart. I miss her so much already.